The Ten Things I Love about School

Since it has taken me so long to post my "good" list, I decided to do all ten on one post, so this one is going to be a little longer, but I suppose if they are the things I love, the list should really get special treatment.  It wasn't that difficult to come up with my list because contrary to posting the "hate it!" list first, I have truly loved this job and been very devoted to it over all these years.  Here is why:

1.  Great schedule: So let's just get that one out of the way because it is what everyone thinks is the number one reason we love our jobs. ( And yes, I am listing it as number one, but the important stuff comes last here.)  June 25, the big check--a feeling that cannot be duplicated--PRICELESS!! I am going to miss that.  Then again, every day will be June 25!

2.  I am my own boss:  I did work in business for a year, and one of the things that bothered me was having to rely on other people to get my work done.  In this job when I close the door, I am in control of my day.  Yeah, right!

3.  I love my subject:  I guess one of the best things about a school is that it is filled with all kinds of specialists who are really into their specialties. As an English teacher, I have found there is nothing like being able to "give the gift" of a great classic piece of literature to someone and to hear that that book has become a part of that person's life and will be a part of it forever.
                                                                       
4.  It has kept me young:  Get together with a bunch of high school teachers, and you'll soon come to realize that we are a lot like the kids we teach.  But those kids also allow us to sip from the Fountain of Youth.

5.  Kids are pretty funny:  You have no idea how funny kids are.  I have had times in the classroom where I have literally been rolling from some crazy funny thing some crazy funny kid has said.  And they are always so surprised to see me, the "Spadinator," lose it like that.  I once had a whole front row of "comedians" who would crack me up the entire period.

6.  Long term relationships:  I have been working at the same place for  over 30 years.  That has made for some pretty long lasting and special relationships with my co-workers. We have seen each other get married, have children, and seen those children grow up and get married.

7.  Relationships with kids:  How rewarding it has been to form special relationships with those students over the years that you just "click" with. They come and ask you for advice on everything from trouble with parents, to trouble with boy or girlfriends, to which college to choose, to which dress to pick for the prom.  A colleague and I were even asked to mediate a fight between two best girlfriends once.

8. Relationships with families:  Because I teach in a small village, it has been such a pleasure to get to know so many wonderful families, teaching brothers and sisters, and yes, even students and their own children.  Let me tell you that is an eye opener the first time it happens.

9.  Thank you's over the years:  Better than any monetary bonus I could ever have gotten have been the times that former students have either called or sent letters or come to visit to let me know that I made a difference in their lives, helped them to grow and become better people.  I once had a young guy call me just to thank me for pushing him to succeed because he was about to fulfill a dream of entering the police academy.  And just last year a very special former student decided to make a donation to the district and made a point of telling the superintendent that I was one of the teachers that had really influenced him.


10.  And that brings me to my final thing but the most important thing.  When I worked at Allstate as a supervisor, I was doing very well in the short year that I was there.  I had even won an employee recognition award.  But I'd come home and think about the fact that at the end of the day all I was doing was helping a company to make more money.  I wasn't leaving anyone better through my actions, wasn't leaving my mark anywhere, and that is why I decided to go back to my real "calling."

So even though there have been frustrations and troubles, and yes, many tears,  throughout the years, I know that I have absolutely been in the right place.

GIRL POWER!!!!

I know my next post is supposed to be ten things I love about school, but I had to postpone that to write about "the soccer girls."

For the past two years I have been working the soccer season as a supervisor/timekeeper.  This has been something totally new to me because, frankly, sports and I have never had a decent relationship.  Not when I was a kid, not when I was a young adult, not ever.  So even though I have done a dozen different extracurricular jobs in my career, I have never coached, nor had I ever, before last year,  had anything to do with sports whatsoever.  It's not that I hate sports per se; it's just that I was never good at anything, so I had no interest or knowledge to coach anything.

But last year the opportunity arose to make a little extra money, and with my daughter away at school, I did have the extra time. Now, after having almost finished my second year, I have to say that it has been a great experience on so many levels.  No, the cold wind blowing across the field when it gets to be around 5:30 is not enjoyable, but the girls so make up for it.

I cannot overestimate how much these girls have impressed me with their tenacity, their fearlessness, their hard work, but most of all their dignity. When they are out on the field, they play their hearts out-really.  They don't think about their hair or their makeup or getting banged up or about falling down.  They simply jump back up and keep running, sometimes at top speed, up and down that field.  They help each other and cheer for each other and console one another if they make mistakes.  Sure, they play to win, but if they don't, there's no anger, no petulance among any of them.  They simply congratulate the other team ("Good game, good game, good game") and then huddle up with their arms around each other.

And so here I have been, the soccer neophyte, standing on the sidelines and being completely inspired by these young women who have accepted me with open arms.  They will often say,"Thank you for supervising us," or they will all look at me from the huddle after the game and call out in unison, "Thank you!!" No girls, thank you.  Thank you all for giving me the gift of seeing girl power in action.  YOU GO GIRLS!!

Ten Things I Hate about School--Part Two

Finally able to sit down and finish my "ten things" list.  I am finding that I am busier this year than I have been in quite some time-ironic, isn't it?  So the rest of the list is a little more serious than the beginning of it. I find that there are things about working in education that I have found really troubling.  Some of these things have been issues for years, others seem to have been magnified and exacerbated lately.

6. Parents:  I have always had trouble dealing with difficult parents.  I have experienced the full gamut of problems, from parents lying for their kids, to blaming me when the kid didn't do his work, to blaming me for the kid not wanting to take an accelerated class (I should have forced him to stay), to a parent screaming a me on the phone, to a parent coming to a conference drunk.  Unfortunately I have had a couple of occasions when I literally had to hang up and say, "I'm sorry, but this conversation has come to an end." But I have also had many great and supportive parents.  Look for them on the Ten Things I Love List.

7.  Grading Essays:  An English teacher's job is literally never done, REALLY.  Until June 25 or so you always feel that weight of papers hanging over your head.  You never finish grading because as soon as you finish one pile, another comes in.  And believe me, it is not easy to grade some of those essays.  Sometimes the writing is so confusing, my only comment can be, "HUH?"

8.  Those who "know better" : Then there are all of those administrators, professors, lecturers, consultants, who either have never been in a classroom or haven't been in one in 20 years or have been in one for only two or three years, telling you the best way to do your job.  "Have them write every day." "Have them read 40 pages a night."  "Have them do more homework-less homework." "It's all about portfolios."  "It's all about the standards."  How bout you spend even one period in my eighth grade writing class and see just how enthusiastic you'd be about the new "Common Core Standards?"

9.  "There is just no money for that" :  For over thirty years I've been hearing the same "No Money" story.  Will people ever come around to realize that we need to invest as much as we can, not as little as we can, on education?  Apparently not soon because the latest, greatest idea to reform education is the 2% tax cap that New York State has imposed on its school districts, which brings me to my final and most disturbing thing.

10.  The worsening lack of respect for the profession I have loved:  I have always talked about being "called" to do this job.  I have wanted to be a teacher since I was a very little girl, and even when I left the profession to take a job in business, I realized I had to go back because the classroom was where I belonged.  To me it has always been a noble profession worthy of the utmost respect.  I have seen tremendous dedication of my colleagues over the years, teachers who have given their souls to their students.  And these teachers deserve so much more than being the latest scapegoat of society.  When I first started and people would ask me what I did for a living, they would be impressed and thankful.  These days I even have to deal with my own family's disdain for the job that I have given so much to.

Okay, I've gotten it out of my system.  It does feel a lot better! Whew!  Next time The Ten Things I Love.  :)

Ten Things I Hate about School-Part One

Well, before you think I am that cynical, let me preface this blog by saying that the one that will follow is, "Ten Things I Love about School."  So I sat down, in this year of sitting down and taking inventory, and came up with a list of things that I surely will not miss about school (And weirdly, I hardly ever call my job "work."  It is always "school," just as I never go by calendar year, always school year).  The list is simply in the order in which they occurred to me.

1.  You have to start teaching at "the crack of ass" (sorry, just think that is the funniest expression).  At 7:45 a.m., when most people are just getting ready to leave for work, we are already up in front of the classroom, trying to get 25 comatose teenagers to pay attention to us.

2.  Which brings me to another item.  I once had a colleague call the teenagers we teach, "unfinished persons."  And I have always thought that to be such an apt description.  Kids will say anything that occurs to them, at any time, anywhere, with practically no filters.  And those little devils notice EVERYTHING!! God forbid they pay attention to what you are teaching.  Nuh-uh!! Last week I had a kid in my eighth grade class tell me that there was a map on the bottom of my shoe.  I had had those shoes for six months and never knew about any map.

3.  You never really know what sort of day you are going to have.  Sometimes you can get up and be in a pretty good mood when you get to school, actually ready to have a good day, with some interesting lessons planned that you are totally prepared for BUT -the copy machine is down, the internet is down, your door lock is jammed with pencil lead, "Johnny" throws a tantrum, you get an unexpected drop-in by the principal, some kid poops on your floor!! (all true events)

4.  You can't hide.  When you are not feeing well, either physically or emotionally, you have to hide it  and still perform.  That room filled with 25 little (big) bodies is not going to sit quietly by while you gather yourself together.

5.  And you'd sure better develop strong control of any bodily functions. The bathroom can call only on a free period or within the three minute between classes.  And certainly not while you have a group of foreign exchange students from France as guest speakers.

Stay tuned for Part Two!!

"Are you sure?"

A couple of days ago, when the topic of my impending retirement came up, one of my colleagues said to me, "You don't sound so sure that you are going." Of course I'm not sure.  When are we ever completely sure about major life changes?

Are you completely sure that you are picking the right college or job or husband or house or time for parenthood?  Major change is such a dreadfully difficult experience that it freezes most people to the bone. Why do you think they invented Xanax?  So here I am on the verge of leaving a place that I have gone to for 183 days a year for the past 33 years of my life, certainly my longest relationship with anyone or anything if you look at it that way, and it has, to say the least, given me pause.

Sometimes I literally walk through the hallways of school and hear echoes of all of my footsteps of most of my adult life.  The colleagues that have come and gone, certainly the thousands of kids that have walked in and out of my classroom, the dances and parties, the pictures with Santa, the days of the championship games.  So many, many memories, mostly sweet, some sort of quiet and sad.

I think of all these things as I am confronted (mostly on a daily basis) about my impending departure.  Remember that there are no bonuses in teaching.  No one will ever put more money your  paycheck because a kid of yours just got accepted to Harvard (and rightly so). You just do it every day and wait for those few and far between times when someone writes you a heartfelt letter or calls or shows up at your door long after he has graduated to tell you how much you did for him and to thank you for pushing him to excel and for believing in him.  And to be completely honest, to me, those rewards have meant more to me than the biggest Wall Street bonus ever could.

I had one of those moments just this week.  I was working the clock at the boys' soccer game, the senior game, where each senior's parents were called up to receive a bouquet of flowers from their son.  Here I was at the timekeeper's table on the sidelines of the field watching the ceremony when one of my students from last year was called to present his bouquet, but he did not have any parents at the game. So the next thing I know is he is walking directly toward me with his flowers and says, "These are for you."

Will I miss those bonuses? Of that I am most definitely sure!

"To toss or not to toss?"

As I sit here after just completing the first week of school, I am reflecting on the thoughts that I have had this week.  Firstly, I am wondering just how I plan to make it through a whole 5 days starting next week.  I am simply exhausted.  Maybe it's my age, but I did notice that my younger Facebook friends have all been posting that they are "pooped" as well.  I know, I know, all my non-teacher friends are now shaking their heads in disgust, but believe me, it is pretty hard to put on those shoes and perform in a non-air conditioned room when you've been at the beach for two months.

However, what I really want to focus on in this blog is how much I have been thinking about throwing things out, about casting off. Unfortunately, I have a serious problem with the act of the casting. One of my department colleagues has actually called me a "classroom hoarder," saying that he fully expects to see me on A&E someday. My husband cringes every time we attempt to clean out the garage or the shed or the closets, as I continually cry out, "No, I need that!"  I must admit that I do indeed have several "mild" hoarding characteristics.  But who says it isn't it normal to keep real ditto masters from thirty-two years ago?  Or my favorite peasant shirt from junior high?  You never know when you might want to use those things!!

Actually, there have been many, many occasions when my fellow department members will come by to see if I have a certain book or handout or exam, knowing full well that I most certainly do. (They have already planned to raid my stuff as soon as I decide I am definitely leaving.)  Education just lends itself to hoarding.  Everything old is ALWAYS new again in my profession.  Skills good, skills bad, portfolios good, portfolios bad, testing good, testing bad, hands on learning good and so on and so on and so on, for the past thirty years.  Just last year I was happy to know that I had saved all the old, old English Regents materials because the new, new English Regents has very similar aspects to the old, old English Regents, and I HAD ALL THE OLD, OLD STUFF!

So this week I have been feeling so strange every time I finish a lesson.  I just don't know what to do about all the things I know I will have to clean out by June.  I know that I may never have to use my "Get Acquainted" stack of handouts again, but I just can't bring myself to toss the folder, seems so wasteful, so final.  Then again, I sure wouldn't mind tossing those four sets of summer reading essays I got on Friday.

The Last First Day???? Part Two

It is now the beginning of September, the 4th to be exact, so we are dangerously close to the dreaded "first day of school," a day that has lived in infamy for me personally for almost all of my life, with the exception of probably about six years total!

When I was a little girl I was horribly school phobic (go figure) to the point where I once ran all the way back home in the rain after my mother had dropped me off at school.  So beginning the new school year with trepidation has had a rich and storied history for me that lingers to this late day.

Usually starting about Thursday of the week before school I get "that feeling," that nagging little disconcerting feeling that something is just not right, and as Labor Day weekend ensues, I become progressively more and more out of sorts, not a debilitating fear, just a nasty little prickly sensation lurking right beneath the surface of my skin.  I try to put it out of my mind by keeping busy, planning activities, going to my beloved beach, but as soon as I slow down, there it is, that sinking feeling that used to be, as a kid, full blown nausea.  For those non-teachers out there, imagine the feeling of starting a new job after being out of work for two months, but this new job, from moment number one, requires you to be at top performance strength, and has you working on a daily basis with what an old colleague of mine used to refer to as "unfinished persons." For my fellow teachers, especially the new ones, I wish I could say it goes away after a few years, but I'd be lying to you.

So why the dress?  Well, one of the ways that I have developed of coping with that miserable first day feeling is to make sure that I have my "first day of school dress" ready to go to work with me. (This year I bought it in June because you know those crazy season rushing department stores.  I can't exactly wear a woolen dress on September 7!) You know how you always feel better in a brand new outfit, one without any memories attached to it?  A clean slate.  Who doesn't enjoy the feeling of cutting the tags off?  It gives you a little lift just to know that even if you don't feel so good, at least you look good, in the paraphrased words of the old Billy Crystal Fernando Lamas Saturday Night Live parody.

On the morning of September 7th, I'll wake up at 5:40, cut off my tags, choke down a quick breakfast, and start what just might be the last first day of school of my entire life, and I'll be thinking of how much I'll enjoy the Labor Day Weekend next year.  Hell, I might even go to the U.S. OPEN!

The Last First Day???? Part One

Since this is my first of these blog entries as I document the final moments of my career, I think it is only fitting to go back to the beginning.  The photo above was taken in September of my first year of teaching, oddly enough as I took a week off right after I started to go on a pre-planned trip to Hawaii with my friend Ellen's uncle's DEA agents convention (whole other story, believe me!)  I had gotten my job during the first week of school, and when I interviewed, I explained that this pending trip was already arranged and that I would like to go, but understood if I couldn't.  They agreed to allow me to take a week off (without pay, of course), even though I would need to be absent during the last week of September.

If I look like a deer in the headlights it's because that's exactly what I was.  The trip to Hawaii was wonderful, and I loved every minute of it, but I did pay a price.

Teaching is an extremely difficult career to begin.  Pretty much fresh out of school with little to no experience in the classroom, (well, three weeks in upstate Margaretville--but that's another whole other story) I was terrified, pretty much paralyzed with fear on a daily basis.  There are very few more harrowing experiences than closing the classroom door to a room of 25 teenagers with the attitude of, "Ok, what do you think you've got, why should we listen, and how can we defeat you?"

New teachers, especially very young new teachers (some of my students, seniors, were only 4-5 years younger than I), need to develop nerves of steel, a very thick skin, and a quality of perseverance that few new professionals have to have as they leave the starting gate.  There's no hiding at your desk when things aren't going well for a teacher.  You are "ON" from bell to bell.

Needless to say, that doe-eyed young girl in the picture (second from the left btw) had a lot to learn and a lot of bumps and bruises to endure before she would feel comfortable in her new job, and unfortunately taking a week off just when she was getting started created a whole new "first day of school" for her when she came back from Hawaii.  It was so bad that I would go in to my director at least once a week to tell him I was quitting (again).

Somehow I did make it through the numerous "first days" of my first year, and am here still alive to tell the story.  Now I am two weeks away from what may be my LAST first day, and my feelings are running the gamut from exhilaration to melancholy to anxiety to anticipation.  I am hoping that this new little blogging adventure will help.